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OR "DON'T BOGART THAT BEER MY FRIEND"

It was called Brain Death, and it was a high­gravity brew in more than one sense of the word.

Brain Death was the creation of two homebrewers and certified beer judges, both brewers of whom are highly respected in their hobby. (For reasons that will become apparent, they wish to remain anonymous.) A potent barleywine (OG 1,100), Brain Death contained an extra ingredient that one of the euphemistically calls "special hops".

In fact, the beer was "dry­hemped" with flowers of the female marijuana plant, homegrown by an acquaintance in Texas. The alcohol and tetrahydrocannibanol (THC) made a mind­rattling combination.

The creators of Brain Death brought some samples to the 1988 American Homebrewers Association convention in Denver, CO. There, the brewers were approached by Michael Jackson. Recalled one of them: "We told him what was in it, and poured him a pint. Forty­five minutes later, he came back...

A few observations from a recent visit to Las Vegas:

New York New York hotel is very cool looking and has a giant rollercoaster that circles the entire hotel.   I’ve never been on the coaster, however, it seems to be quite popular and is another fascinating larger-than-life novelty about Las Vegas.  While it’s a cool attraction for passer-byes, it’s a fucking nuisance if you are staying in the hotel.  I recently stayed in a room in NYNY overlooking the MGM Grand hotel, and had a great view of the roller coaster… unfortunately, every 5 or so minutes until about 11:00 at night, I would hear the thing go rumbling past my window like an intense thunder storm accompanied by screaming women as the flip through the loop. 

Another observation:  Las Vegas is a huge draw for the Asian countries… There are literally thousands of people from Japan and China, and more disconcerting… Hong Kong – the SARS epicenter!  I have to admit, I stayed away from the Bellagio hotel, and avoided CaeSARS Palace simply for the fact that it has SARS in the name.  Yeah, I’m paranoid, however, I’m healthy! 

SAN FRANCISCO- What happens when a sexually frustrated 66-year-old woman advertises her plight and calls for men of all ages to step up to the plate?

Â

If Jane Juska's experience is typical, she spends a weekend in a romantic hotel room with a man who makes her feel young again. Young by comparison, at least. Her new lover is 82.

So much for friendly companionship in the golden years. Juska's new memoir "A Round Heeled Woman" is a graphic reminder that not everyone approaching 70, 80 or even 90 is content just to hold hands and gaze at the sunset. ........

Michael Jackson has burst into the office of his local Congressman wearing a Spiderman mask - to complain about the lack of fast-food restaurants near his Neverland ranch.

The star wore the superhero's disguise when he made an unannounced visit to US Representative Elton Gallegly in Solvang, California.

He asked the politician's deputy, Steve Lavagnino: "How come Solvang doesn't have any fast-food restaurants?"

After Jackson was told the town's only eaterie was a Subway sandwich shop, the disappointed singer said he loved food from the Taco Bell chain.

The 44-year-old then pulled

Helpful Hint #1 - If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic!
Simply pour a jug of boiling water down your throat and
presto! The blockage is almost instantly removed.

Helpful Hint #2 - Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing
vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you
chop away!

Helpful Hint #3 - Don't buy expensive 'ribbed' condoms, just
buy an ordinary one and slip a handful of frozen peas inside it
before you put it on.

Helpful Hint #4 -

Washington may be trying to win hearts and minds in Iraq. But those recalcitrant Saddam supporters who don’t want to hear of it are being forced to listen to a very different message. Some U.S. military units have taken to exposing uncooperative Iraqis to long doses of heavy-metal music or even popular children’s songs in an effort to convince them not to resist Coalition forces. “Trust me, it works,” says one U.S. operative on the ground. “In training, they forced me to listen to the Barney ‘I Love You’ song for 45 minutes. I never want to go through that again.”

The idea, explains Sgt. Mark Hadsell, is to break down a subject’s resistance through sleep deprivation and annoyance with music that is as culturally offensive and terrifying as possible.

Satirical Web Site Offers to Rent Out an African American Companion
Renter Be Aware
by Mark Baard
May 21 - 27, 2003

While Annika Sorenstam might not qualify for the PGA tournament at the Colonial Country Club this weekend, we at UselessJunk.com wanted to show our support for Women In Golf. 

We at UselessJunk.com are proud to stand up and say “THERE IS A PLACE FOR WOMEN IN GOLF”. 

Enjoy the UJ tribute to these fine women! 

Learn from hoover's hard lesson: When working with a blow-torch to heat copper pipes for do-it-yourself plumbing modifications, don't wear Teva-like sandals.

I learned the hard way that it burns like a motherfucker when a hot piece of solder slides under your toes when you're trying to apply it to copper that isn't quite up to temp yet.

I haven't seen the damn matrix movie, however, I jacked this interesting review from Mike. He's some out of work retard who live in San Fran who doesn't mind when people rape his site as long as he get's a shout out! I subscribed to his list after I saw him do an interview on Tech TV a few months back.

Fresh from the forum:
Do you know who Donna Derrico is? Here's her bio (you wouldn't have guessed it, however, she seems to have a brain in her head & a really nice rack too!)

Donna Derrico was born on the 30th of March 1968, in Dothan, Alabama. Before making it to the bathing suit clad Baywatch beaches, Donna considered pursuing a career as an accountant, having excelled in math throughout high school. This blonde beauty made a switch in career paths and moved to Hollywood, hoping to become an actress. She got more than she bargained for, with magazine covers and several television roles. Before succeeding in Hollywood, Donna was a Las Vegas limo driver, a stripper (for a short period of time) and hit the big league as a Play boy Playmate in September of 1995.

Jose Santos, the winning jockey at the Kentucky Derby, may have carried something in his hand besides his whip as he crossed the finish line aboard Funny Cide. --So says the losers who are protesting the race! 

The funny thing about this is... I didn't even know that this was Derby Week!!!!  This is the only time of the year that I'll watch horse racing on TV, however, I do always enjoy going to the track to win some bucks.  For some reason, I typically do well when betting on the ponies!  (that link has some boobies on it, be careful if at work) --I always go for the trifecta and pick up a few bucks per bet. 

The other odd thing about this is how the little dude holds the whip.  I never noticed that they hold the thing kind of like a soup spoon.  I always thought they held it like a baseball bat so they could whip the snot out of the horse... the harder you hit the 4 legged fucker, the faster he'll run, right?

I'll bet that it's merely some kind of shadow on his hand... What the hell else would it be?  --A tazer gun (or should I say phaser gun)... (Trivia...

DUESSELDORF, Germany - A 24-year-old man who was detained walking down a shopping street with his sister-in-law's severed head in one hand and a knife in the other was being questioned Wednesday by prosecutors.

Police found the 25-year-old woman's bloody torso Tuesday in her apartment in the village of Uebach-Palenberg near the Belgian-Dutch border in western Germany.

Neighbors said they had heard the woman screaming in the apartment during an argument with the suspect. Shortly afterward, police stopped the man as he walked down the village shopping street carrying the women's head and a 12-inch kitchen knife.

LONDON
Rock guitarist Pete Townshend, co-founder of The Who, was cleared Wednesday of possessing pornographic images of children but still was placed on a national register of sex offenders.

That registration was part of a formal police caution Townshend received for accessing a Web site containing images of child abuse.

Townshend was arrested in January on suspicion of making and possessing indecent images of children. The arrest was part of Operation Ore, an FBI-led crackdown on Internet child pornography.

After a four-month investigation, London's Metropolitan Police said Wednesday the rocker "was not in possession of any downloaded child abuse images" but ....

Man beheads himself in supermarket

May 8 2003

A 31-year-old South African man walked into a supermarket, picked up a power saw and decapitated himself in front of shocked shoppers, police said yesterday.

The incident happened in the port town of Richards Bay on the KwaZulu-Natal north coast.

Eyewitnesses said the man had appeared calm as he marched up to the meat counter, where he switched on a meat saw and placed his head under it.

Staff and shoppers had no time to react...